Story....

She swallowed the viscous air. Something got stuck in her throat. It was pain. She forced it in .As the desperation to be freed from the tangles of life dissolved in her blood, the black color of eyes faded to resemble the color of road.
She looked every direction and saw the life scattered on the road; the greens of the tree and red soil and many others, waiting for her to pick one. She saw no colors.
She saw her past in quick flash, stopping at each moment and living it the way she did not live then anyways. It was happening to her .All moments came in one go and she was crushed under the load of memories.
In a moment she felt the sadness of her married life ,those umpteen times she felt there was no reason to be sad ,the perpetual feeling to break free from choking bondage of black thread around her neck, hating her husband for depriving her of his company, trying to love him for the sake of some unknown reasons, wishing herself to be dead over the monotony of her married life, desiring him in lone bed with only her loneliness to hold on and trying to save each part of her body from his unruly desires…….
No feelings kicked in. There was a silence .or maybe she was numbed. Emotionally.
In other moment, she felt the excitement of meeting him: her college friend..yes in college he was called her boyfriend, the soothing breeze of revival of old memories ,the freshness of unfulfilled dreams, the urge to meet him again, the conversation anticipated before meeting him ,the echo of the conversation she had with him, the guilt that she was cheating him ,the kick that there was something happening n her life………
She was back .She looked up..The green branches stretching out of the trees. It reminds her of the green sari of her mother in law .was t green or greenish yellow? When she dragged her out of the house .. no she was not dragged .She chose it. She walked out of it. The inside little voice shouted at her and begged her to stop .But she has decided.
She sees red. It reminds of the blood on the rim of the chair, when her head hit it. When her husband discarded her …like always.
She saw blue. She could not. All colors blurred. There was just a lobe of black color of darkness, of night and despair. She could not see but could only hear his voice over the phone ...”I never meant we will run away. Sorry yaar....”And then she heard darkened silence.
She returns. And wonders how past and present has mingled now. She knew there was nowhere to go. She saw a sweeper smiling. Or laughing on her. She saw children mocking on her. Everyone knew what has happened to her. She wished she was dead. She knew she was dead.
The small voce was laughing. No it was actually crying silently. It had nothing to say.
She felt the world turned into a black tunnel where she was walking .She felt it was it was darkest and never ending tunnel. She fumbled for some reason to walk .And then she felt the hot ground tearing through her body. She felt she was dead. Her body was light .she felt easy and relaxed, oblivious of others opinion. She tried to life her body, her head. But it was heavy .and she saw herself changing into deformed lobe of shame and guilt. Shame that she left questions unanswered and..Guilt that she never gave herself any chance to chose.
She cried .But she could not raise herself.
She felt that even she was a person who could make a choice. Her tears filled the roads and poured into open manholes.
She was shouting but was silenced but the known sound of hissing throng. In a moment the darkness was gone .She was blinded by stray ray of sunlight fallen from the sun. she was surrounded by curious crowd ,peeping all over her. Someone helped her stand. And she felt she was alive in this world of questions, doubts, opinions, confusion and people.
She again started walking.
She was relieved she was alive. She heard a smile. The little voice inside her chuckled. It was no longer a small voice. It grew in size and soon it crossed the horizon. She breathes the air .the hope entered through her nostrils and dissolved in her blood.